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  • Ponder This!

    I'm not afraid of heights - I'm afraid of widths.

    A day without sunshine is like night.
    I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

    There's no need to fear falling - it's the sudden stop at the bottom that warrants the fear.

    Birthdays are good for you - the more you have the longer you live.
    99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
    DejaMoo:  The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

    The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

    If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

    Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

    Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

    Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.

    The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as warning to others.

    The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.

    Paranoids are people too; they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.

    If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

    I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

    If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

    Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

    I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

    I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me . . they were cramming for their finals.

    I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?

    How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

    If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?

    STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS.

    You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

    Clones are people two.

    If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

    Go ahead and take risks...just be sure that everything will turn out OK.

    No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning.

    If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

    Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

    Think "honk" if you're telepathic.

    If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

    If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

    I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."

    So what's the speed of dark?

    After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

    Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

    If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

    Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

    Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

    Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

    Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

    Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear right until you hear them speak?

    How come abbreviated is such a long word?

    If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
    Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

    Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?