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  • How to Get a New Name

    My new name is Stinky Diaperbrain


    This is silly!

    HOW TO GET A NEW NAME

    Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. Here is your dose... Follow the instructions to find your funny name. The following is an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants", by Dav Pilkey: The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names.....

    Use the third letter of your first name to determine your NEW first name:

    a = stinky
    b = lumpy
    c = buttercup
    d = gidget
    e = crusty
    f = greasy
    g = fluffy
    h = cheeseball
    i = chim-chim
    j = poopsie
    k = flunky
    l = booger
    m = pinky
    n = zippy
    o = goober
    p = doofus
    q = slimy
    r = loopy
    s = snotty
    t = falafel
    u = dorkey
    v = squeezit
    w = oprah
    x = skipper
    y = dinky
    z = zsa-zsa

    Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your NEW last name:

    a = diaper
    b = toilet
    c = giggle
    d = bubble
    e = girdle
    f = barf
    g = lizard
    h = waffle
    i = cootie
    j = monkey
    k = potty
    l = liver
    m = banana
    n = rhino
    o = burger
    p = hamster
    q = toad
    r = gizzard
    s = pizza
    t = gerbil
    u = chicken
    v = pickle
    w = chuckle
    x = tofu
    y = gorilla
    z = stinker

    Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your NEW last name, or, if your last name isn't 4 letters long, use the first letter of your last name:

    a = head
    b = mouth
    c = face
    d = nose
    e = tush
    f = breath
    g = pants
    h = shorts
    i = lips
    j = honker
    k = butt
    l = brain
    m = tushie
    n = chunks
    o = hiney
    p = biscuits
    q = toes
    r = buns
    s = fanny
    t = sniffer
    u = sprinkles
    v = kisser
    w = squirt
    x = humperdinck
    y = brains
    z = juice

    Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Goober Chickenshorts.
    Clinton's new name is Poopsie Liverchunks.
    Al Gore is Lumpy Burgertush.
    John "Flippin" Kerry is now Cheeseball Girdlebuns!

    Now when you forward this to all your friends, including the person who sent this to you, use your new name as the "title of the subject line".