In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity,

here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a "suggestion"!)

Printed on bottom of the box of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year old's off those forklifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space or underground?)

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts. (Not to mention the nut who wrote the warning )

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (DDDUUUHHH)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (No comment.)

On a childs superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)