Antiforward #5

I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering
from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried
Chicken. So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke
he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over.
When he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN
STOLEN and he saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" But he
was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer,
and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive
if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!"

Now, this guy knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer
programmer who was working on software to save us from Armageddon
when the year 2000 rolls around. (By the way, it's a little known fact that
the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages!) His program will prevent a global
disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $250.00
Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true!
I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who is
also sending me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I forward the
e-mail to everyone I know!!! :)

Anyway, the poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his
missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with
an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said,
"Welcome to the world of AIDS".

Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital-the one where that
little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for
everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer
Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives.

I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the
shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to 10 people, you will  have
good luck, but 10 people you will only have OK luck, and if you send it to
less than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).

So anyway, the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the
way he noticed another car driving along without its lights on. To be
helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang
initiation.

Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will
receive 4 green M & Ms, but if you don't the owner of Proctor and Gamble will
report  you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad luck, your wife
will develop breast cancer from using the antiperspirant which clogged the
pores under her arms, and the U.S. government will put a tax on your emails
forever.  Oh yeah, AOL will take away your IM's and Hotmail will kick you off of
their systems for not checking your e-mail 26 times a day.

If you want to check out all those stories you get in your
email all the time, check out this site:
http://urbanlegends.about.com/culture/urbanlegends/library/weekly/aa062997