Antiforward #3

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from
rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams,
fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution,
and guilt for not forwarding about 50 billion chain letters sent to
me by people who actually believe that if you send
them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in
Arkansas with a leg growing on her forehead will be able to
raise enough money to have it removed before her
redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak
show. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to
give you and everyone you send "his" email to $1000?
How stupid are you? So basically, this message is a big YOU
ARE DUMB to all the people out there who have nothing better
to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the
evil chain letter leprechauns will come into
my apartment and kill me in my sleep for not
continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5
A.D. and was brought to this country by midget
pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the
year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World
Records for longest continuous streak of blatant
stupidity. Yea right. If you're going to forward
something, at least send me something mildly amusing.
I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your
closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a
human being will somehow receive a Nickel from some
omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're
actually contributing to by sending out forwards.
Chances are it's your own unpopularity.

THE THREE BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
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Chain Letter Type 1:
(scroll down)

Make a wish!!!
<Keep Scrolling

No, really, go on and make one!!!

Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!

Not that, you freak!!

STOP!!!!

Wasn't that fun? :)
Hope you made a great wish :)

Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll
do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096
people in the next 5 seconds, you will be trampled
by a mad goat and thrown off a high building
into a pile of manure.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

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Chain Letter Type 2

Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You
see, there is a starving little boy in
Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs,
no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life
could be saved, because for every time you pass
this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little
Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from
Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember,
we have absolutely no way of counting the emails
sent and this is all a complete lie. So go on,
reach out. Send this to
5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a
reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or
6 people, you will die instantly.
Thanks again!!

---------------------------------------------
Chain Letter Type 3

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in
existence since 1897. This is absolutely
incredible because there was no email then and
probably not as many sad people with
nothing better to do.

So this is how it works... Pass this on to
15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or
something horrible will happen to you like:
*Bizarre Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on
Saturday. She had recently received this letter
and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in
the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed
down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went
flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she
smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To
You!!!

*Bizarre Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain
letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that
day, he was hit by a car and so was his mother.
They both died and went to hell and were cursed
to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.
This Could Happen To You Too!!!
Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and
Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser
friends, and everything will be okay.
------------------------------------------------
POINT BEING?

If you get some chain letter that's threatening
to leave you loveless or luckless for the rest of
your life, delete it. If it's funny, send
it on. Don't make people mad by making them
feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no
teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for
27 years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per letter
he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise
you'll end up like Pinsley and Bip. Right? Now forward
this to everyone that you know
otherwise you'll find all your underwear missing
tomorrow morning. Page Title Goes Here...