The Big One

Current as of 7/1/2007 - Need a blank copy for your own use?

1. Full name:
Just call me Inabeanpod ;)

2. Do you like foot massages?
It is better to give than to receive... Now if only I could find a nice little someone who would like to receive one ;)

3. Do you pluck your eyebrows?
No way! I'm a boy and I'm straight!

4. If yes, how often?
I don't! I don't know! I like girls! I'm not gay! AHHHHHH!!

5. Most ghetto family member:
Is it possible that this is the most misunderstood question on the page?

6. What would you do if you had hair all over your body?
I would go on living as I normally do and probably buy lots of shampoo.

7. Tuesday night hangout:
It's different from week to week.

8. Favorite pickle:
Dill pickles!

9. Do you believe in faeries?
No

9b. do you believe in 20 feet cocks?
I don't think that chickens can grow that big.

10. Have you eaten green Jell-O recently?
Nope.

12. Fave animal:
Fishy-fish because I don't have allergies because of them.

13. Least fave color:
Pink!!! NO! RED!!! no its pink, no its red...

14. Fave store:
Macmall.com

15. Is Paul a dork?
No way Paul is cool.

16. 6" or 12" sub sandwich?
Got to have the foot if I can afford it baby!

17. Fave type of book:
Tom Clancy stuff or Star Wars stuff

18. If life was a box of chocolates, what kind would you be?
Crunchy Frog

19. Last time you exercised:
July 4th 2006... Paint Ball, Soft Ball, Volley Ball...

20. Name of Latin lover:
How do I say Audrey Hepburn in Latin?.

21. Fave weapon:
Mace's Purple Light Saber

22. Hair spray or gel?
Goop. It makes me look slick.

23. Fave cookie:
Mom's sugar ones.

24. Do you have dimples?
I don't think so.

25. Have you ever broken a bone?
YES!! Four of them!

26. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Yeah, blond... maybe I'll do it again soon.

27. If yes, what color?
Blond.

28. Did you like it?
Yes I liked it, but I did not have "more fun."

29. Did your mom like it?
Nope, she said it felt like dolls hair.

30. Shoelaces - single or double knots?
Double Knots else they come untied and I trip and fall and get laughed at.

31. Fave boy band:
Royal Ruckus.

32. One word that describes you:
Creepy-Stalker-Dude

33. Longest time w/o sleep:
36 hours.

34. Famous person who resembles you:
I'm told I look like Andy Dick or Tom Green, but myheritage.com says I look like Vin Diesel - 1 2 3.

35. Fave letter in alphabet:
C, its usually the grade I get

36. How do you like your eggs?
I like my eggs cooked with no shells in them.

37. Would you like fries with that?
Yeah. Mmmm... fries... (think bad homer simpson impression)

38. Fave mode of transportation:
I personally prefer to teleport to where ever I need to go.

39. Fave ninja turtle:
Donatalo or something like that.

40. Ugliest spice girl:
All of them.

41. Ketchup or mustard?
Both.

42. Fave pair of socks:
I like white socks, they don't make my feet smell as much as colored socks do.

43. Spoon, fork, or knife:
FORK!! Hmm... at some point that was funny, but now that I'm old, I can't remember why.

44. Fave Jackie Chan movie:
Jackie Chan's First Strike!

45. Future kid names:
I'm not going to have any kids so I guess this would be a "N/A"

46. Funniest thing done in an elevator:
One time I jumped just before the elevator left... it was like, totally crazy man.

47. Most things bought for under $1:
~~100~~ 99 pennie gums!

49. Fave man u player:
Beckam or however his name is spelled.

50. Do you get toe jam?
Yeah, white socks tend to be great generators of toe jam, colored socks make my feet stink though, so I like the white socks.

51. Are you single?
Yes.

52. If so, what is wrong with you?
I don't see anything wrong with being single. If you do, then you need to read Singles at the Cross Roads by Albert Y. Hsu

53. Baths or showers?
Showers are better because if you fall asleep you will wake up when your face hits the tub or shower floor but in a bath you are already on the floor or bottom of the tub so you wont fall and then you wont wake up... ever.

54. Do you like short hair or long hair?
I like hair that is either short or long or somewhere in between. I really just want to play with it. That is why God created it right?

55. Can you eat with chopsticks?
Yeah, but not very fast.

56. Fave TV show:
I like Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

57. Fave pie filling:
I like apple pie.

58. # imaginary friends:
I play out conversations in my head but I never get around to speaking them out loud.

59. Have you ever been in a car accident:
Yeah four of them.

60. Fave make of car:
MINI Cooper!

61. Ugliest car you've ever seen:
Ford Focus, Toyota Echo, Pontiac Aztek, Chevy Avalanche.

62. Annoying phrases you use:
"Ain't I sexy Martha?"

63. Fave candy:
I like Butterfingers and Mike & Ike's and Skittles (purple bag) and Peanut Butter M & Ms.

64. Do you eat dirt?
No, but Doug does.

65. Fave drug store:
Wal-Mart

66. Do you take vitamins?
Yeah I do, some of them, the kind that you are suppose to swallow taste really bad if you chew them.

67. What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Why the chicken did! You see, God is smart. Had he created the egg first, with no chicken to sit on it, it would have died and then there would be no more chickens. So God created the chicken first, so it could sit on its eggs and make more chickens.

68. Longest date:
ROTFLMBO! Me, on a date! LOLOLOLOLOL... like that will ever happen.

69. Describe your worst date:
Gotta have one first right?

70. Fave bread:
Baking bread is the best.

71. Most ticklish friend:
Probably Joel is the most ticklish.

72. Shoe size:
10 or 9 or whatever fits...

73. Piercings:
Navel piercings are nasty and a complete turn off as are tongue piercings!

74. % of milk preferred:
I don't like any kind of milk... makes me spend the night in the bathroom.

77. Would you rather kill Hanson or sleep with a spice girl?
What a dumb question!

78. Fave pair of pants you own:
Umm... the one's I got at Old Navy that the sales boy told me wouldn't fit... even after I told him that I had a pair just like them on.

79. Longest time w/out a kiss:
Depends on how we define kiss. Last time I kissed someone... long long ago. Last time I got kissed... Easter weekend 2002, which is pretty much long ago, but not long long ago.

80. Love is:
John 15: 12-13 I command you to love each other in the same way that I love you. And here is how to measure it ¯ the greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends.

-or-

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

81. Your hero:
I can't think of one at the moment, maybe next time.

82. Fave sports team:
Well, in baseball I like the Colorado Rockies and the Kansas City Royals, in football I like the Miami Dolphins, in basketball I like the San Antonio Spurs and in Hockey I like the Colorado Avalanche.

83. Wood or carpet?
I have hard wood floors in my house. Chicks dig hard wood floors right? In fact sometimes it seems that they dig the floors more than they dig me!

84. # times youve been caught staring at someone:
I try not to keep count.

85. Do you like malls?
Yeah, they are great for people (girl) watching.

86. Should all Safeway's be open 24 hrs/day?
Yes, that way when its 2:45 AM and I need a snack I can run down to the local grocery store and get a snack.

87. # video store memberships:
2, I have two. Do you even care? I don't so they probably aren't valid any more.

88. Fave easy cheese:
I don't like canned cheese.

89. # e-mail accounts:
I have 5 or 7 of them, but I could have just about as many as I want.

90. # people in your address book:
I have a bunch of people, who don't email me back, in my address book.

91. Fave beer:
Barq's root beer and A & W root beer.

92. Do you like Oreos?
Yeah, but not with milk.

93. What do you look for in the opposite sex?
Several things, she can never-ever have been a guy before she became a girl!! She must be cute. She must be a Christian. Having a working knowledge of the kitchen (AKA knows how to cook) is a plus. Having some of the same interests as I do is a plus. So yes, I'm looking for the impossible.

94. Longest time w/o shaving:
5 or 6 months.

95. How long have you liked your current crush?
No current crush to like.

96. Which facial feature are you most insecure about?
The whole thing!!

97. Which body part are you most secure about?
None of em! I be putting the "U gg!" in fuggly since 1978!

98. Would you rather eat a goldfish or shoot your dog?
Isn't that the same as would you rather poke out your left eye or your right eye?

99. Do you lie to your parents?
No, that's a very bad thing to do.

100. Do you live with your parents?
No, I have my own house with hardwood floors (chicks dig hardwood floors more than they dig me).

101. Do you like living with your parents?
I don't live with my parents anymore. I moved out on my own. My house has hardwood floors (chicks dig hardwood floors more than me!!)...

102. Do you like lying to your parents?
Um, no, its a very very bad thing to do, say didn't my answer to question 99 make that clear?

103. # times youve lied to your boyfriend/girlfriend:
Well now, I don't have a boyfriend and I don't want one. Boys are yucky!! I used have a few friends who were girls, but I don't see any reason to lie to them and they see no reason to keep in contact with me.

104. # of cavities:
uhh, I duno, too many I guess.

105. Fave romantic spot:
Um, ok lets get this straight, I'm a guy and therefore I know nothing about romance. I can't, its not possible. It's against the laws of physics. I mean come on, I'm not dating anyone, so how could I even practice being romantic?????

106. Shoes or sandals?
I like shoes better, unless I have a nasty gash on my heel or something.

107. # universities applied to:
Oh, I can't remember that was like ten years ago... 3 I think.

108. When you hear a joke you know already, do you laugh?
It depends on the delivery, most of the time I say yeah, that's a funny one!

109. # times youve been cheated on:
Ok, I'm single... I can't be cheated on! ‹Brew-ha-ha! Evil Supervillan Laugh›

110. # times you cheated on someone else:
<sigh> nowhere close to once, unless liking/having a crush on more than one girl at a time counts...

111. # relationships total:
I have a ton of relationships! But you are probably wanting the total number of girls I've dated... that would be 1 (if high school and the fact that we were talked into it by a third party - IE I didn't ask her out - counts).

112. Longest bath:
Man, I can't seem to recall... I guess I need to start timing them more often.

113. Longest romantic relationship:
7 or 8 months.

114. Shortest romantic relationship:
see the last question.

115. How long since you ate a pickle:
Umm... .

116. Places youve lived:
25+ probably.

117. Worst grade on transcript:
I have 3 D's on my transcript, all from accounting classes that I was forced to take.

118. Have you seen Santa?
No he is in jail for killing his reindeer or he is dead.

119. Do you like eating rice?
Yes, especially if it's cooked.

120. Is your mom a good cook?
Yeah. Why else would I want a hottie that can cook?!

121. Does she cook rice?
Yeah.

123. Why do you always send me these?
I'm not sending this to you, I'm putting it on my web page.

124. Fave soup:
Mom's homemade chicken noodle soup is the bestest ever.

125. Fave monopoly character:
I like using things that didn't come with the monopoly set, like pennies, freshly chewed chewing gum and ice cubes.

126. Earliest memory:
Peeking through an open door in to a different room... that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

127. What do you want for your birthday?
Check The List.

128. Mothers maiden name:
I'm not going to tell you that! You'll use it to look me up online and come and get me!

129. Do you believe in magic?
Yes I believe in illusions.

130. Have you ever called 911?
Yeah

131. Fave Power Ranger:
I like the blue one.

132. Do you sing in the shower?
No.

133. Did you cry at the end of Titanic?
No way, me cry at the end of a porno flick?

134. What makes you cry the most?
My allergies make me cry nearly every day.

135. Job:
EDS

136. Do you like your job?
yes.

137. Worst part of your job:
the price of gas today.

138. Are you independently wealthy?
Absolutely not.

139. Do you like oldies?
Yeah I like them oldies... you mean music and not diapers right?

140. Do you like country music?
Only if it's funny, the rest of it is crap straight out of the devils butt.

141. You see a country singer walking down the street. What do you do?
Nothing, I would not recognize him or her or it.

142. Can you dance the chicken dance?
Yeah most of the time.

143. Do you like to dance?
I'm not good at it, but I have fun tryin'

144. Did you like the macarena when it first came out?
Nope, don't like it much now either.

146. Do you make prank calls?
Yes, but only at work.

147. How many legs does a centipede have?
About 98 more than I do.

148. Do you love me?
I don't even know you!!

149. Where's the worst honeymoon spot?
Hawaii is cuz it costs too much to eat there.

150. Are goldfish evil?
no.

151. Have you ever slept naked?
No, never.

152. If yes, when and why?
N/A

153. Underwear size:
Stinkin huge size 38.

154. How many pennies are in your bank?
I duno.

155. If you gave up all your clothing except one thing, what would you keep?
A pair of jeans.

156. Most glasses of water drunk in an hour:
umm.. wow, I forgot to keep track of that, so..uhh..4 maybe?

157. Can you wiggle your ears?
No. Can you? No, not your ears, my ears!

158. Have you ever tried on a thong?
Yeah, I wore them all the time on my feet when I was a kid. It really bugged me back then when other kids would call them "flip-flops."

159. Have you ever gotten high on gingerbread?
Nope, I stay away from that stuff.

160. Have you ever worn a loin cloth?
Does wrapping the bathroom towel around my waist after getting out of the shower count?

161. Do you prefer gum or mints?
I like them both, just not at the same time.

162. Paper or plastic?
Both please.

163. Hotdog or hamburger?
One of each would be nice.

164. Cotton or polyester?
Either or.

165. Fave cereal:
Dry cereal with fake milk!!

166. Fave CD you own:
At the moment its... umm... er... I duno.

167. Worst place to have a zit:
All zits are annoying.

168. Person you admire:
I can't think of anyone.

169. Do you want to be a nun?
No, because that would involve a sex change.

170. # times youve been grounded:
I can't count that high.

171. Who would you want to be stranded on a desert island with?
No one, because that would mean that all my friends and family are safe at home.

172. Worst thing you've eaten for breakfast:
Anything for breakfast is bad.

173. Bra size:
I duno, I don't ware bras. I don't really understand them. (I mean I have this idea about them, but its probably wrong.) So I have no clue what size I would use.

174. Worst nightmare:
It's the one where you are peeing and everyone you know is right there watching you and then you wake up to a wet bed.

175. Funniest dream:
My dreams are not funny.

176. If you were a bird, what would you be?
A dead parrot, because then I'd be famous.

177. If you were a sandwich, what would you be?
I would be a six-foot long party sub from Subway.

178. Grade school crush:
If she was cute and didn't have a boyfriend, I had a crush on her. If she was cute and had a boyfriend, I tried not to have a crush on her, because I didn't want to get beat up.

179. Worst haircut:
I've never had a bad haircut.

180. Can you do the splits?
OUCH, no!

181. Longest time on phone:
I don't answer at home. At work I've been on the phone for up to 6+ hours at a time.

182. Have you ever shared underclothing with someone?
Nope, I don't ware bras, remember?

183. Thoughts on the color pink:
Pink looks good in the sunset/rise and even better on some girls, but not on all of them, and even worst on me.

184. Have you ever had your toes sucked on?
Only by evil bloodsucking bugs.

185. If yes, by who?
I don't know what kind of bloodsucking bugs they were, just that they were evil.

186. Have you ever been to the ER?
Yes.

187. If yes, for what?
Broken bones and stitches.

188. Weirdest shopping experience:
Left the mall once with some buddies and the car was not where we parked it... one of my buddies brother had come and moved it over a few rows so we could not find it.

189. A best friend is:
Jesus.

190. Your skin type:
White boy!

191. Worst driver you know:
If you drive in Kansas City, you are a bad driver, if you have Illinois tags you are a worse driver.

192. Dream car:

A newer MINI Cooper would be sweet!

193. What would you rather be doing right now?
Sleeping or being with friends, but not sleeping with them as they are all pretty much guys anymore.

194. What was the last thing you puked up?
Water and a half digested allergy pill.

195. Best romantic gift received:
Do girls get guys romantic gifts? I don't know because all the girls I know are too young to be buying boys gifts of the romantic type or are married.

196. # of enemies:
Its somewhere between 0 and all the evil commies who live in Cuba and China and France and Iran and North Korea.

197. Have you ever committed homicide?
Nope.

199. Are you circumcised?
Yeah and you are going to have to take my word for it because I'm not going to show you.

200. Do you snort pixie sticks?
No. I eat them!

201. Do you steal pens?
I can't comment on that right now.

202. Fave age:
25 because then I'll no longer be considered a teenager in surveys (18-24). Umm... ok, I'm more than 25 now so my fave age is going to be 30 because its a milestone of some sort.

203. Why?
Umm... it has something to do with how old I am and how mature I'm perceived to be and how girls still seem to think I've got cooties. Well that was back then. Now I think its because when you are a single 30 year old male, people start to think you are gay and I'm quite looking forward to people whispering behind my back and finally coming out and asking my point blank "Are you not married because you are a fag?" Then I'll kindly point out that Jesus was single and 30 and there for must be a fag too. That'll shut em' up quick! :)

204. Fave commercial:
The Quick Trip one where the old grandpa guy says "I can see your lips moving but all I can hear is seagulls!"

205. Longest you've ever slept:
I slept all day after I had my wisdom teeth cut out of my head.

206. Color of your dining room table:
It's white.

207. Have you ever eaten anything out of a garbage can?
Yeah.

208. If yes, what was it?
Food of some kind.

209. Did it taste good?
Yeah, it was very tasty.

210. Did you get sick afterwards?
No, I did not get sick later either.

211. Do you wear plaid and stripes at the same time?
I would if I could, but I can't so I shan't.

212. Do you pretend to play/sing along with music when no one is home?
Yes I do! I also pretend to play/sing along with music when people are home or when I'm out in public.

213. Do you ever go in the outdoors?
Yeah. WAIT! What do you mean by "go"?

214. Do you use handicapped stalls in bathrooms?
Yeah.

215. Do you stand on picnic tables?
Yeah.

216. Have you ever walked up a slide?
Yeah, but not for a really long time.

217. Did you feel guilty afterwards?
No.

218. What are you happy about right now?
It's already 4th of July soon!

219. What are you sad about right now?
I have to mow again.

220. Whats the biggest thing youve ever fixed with duct tape?
I don't think I've ever fixed anything with duct tape.

221. Do you like to play ping pong?
Yes, I like to play table tennis. I even have a ping pong table in my basement.

222. Can you yo-yo?
Could a white guy ever rap? Don't answer that...

223. Biggest bubble youve blown with bubble gum:
hmm, it was...

exactly 19 inches round.

224. Do you read directions or figure things out for yourself?
Self do, till I get stuck.

225. Have you ever prevented a forest fire?
Nope, I enjoy playing with matches.

226. When is your birtday?
It happened/happens sometime this year or the next.

227. Do you wish on stars?
No it's a complete waste of breath.

228. Which finger is your favorite?
My right index finger is my favorite.

229. What is the most disgusting food you have ever eaten?
You know when you are roasting marshmellows and it catches on fire and you can't blow it out, so you start to fling it around and it comes flying off your stick at the same time you lose grip on the stick? And the stick lands in the dirt, then bounces into the ashes of the fire? The dirty, ashy, end of that stick is pretty nasty tasting!

230. Would you ever kill someone?
Yeah I could kill someone.

231. When did you last cry?
Today.

232. If you were making a movie about yourself, what actor/actress would play you?
A computer would play me. I'd be totally CG.

233. What TV show or movie best describes your life?
A movie or TV show that describes my life has yet to be made.

234. Do you like your handwriting?
No, because I can't read it.

235. What does your house look like?
My house looks like a split level ranch... kinda hard to explain.

236. Who are you jealous of?
Anyone who had their picture taken with Audrey Hepburn.

237. What is your #1 priority in life?
Jesus.

238. What is your favorite lunch meat?
Turkey.

239. Do you have any bad habits?
Sure do.

240. What store would you never be caught dead in?
Those kinky underwear stores.

241. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
Na, there are much better people to be friends with.

242. Are you a daredevil?
Nope.

243. Do you follow or lead?
Either or.

244. Have you ever told a secret that you swore you wouldn't repeat?
I didn't swear, but I have been told not to tell anyone.

245. School:
Is expensive.

246. Do looks matter?
Absolutely! If they didn't... Heh!

247. Do you pray?
Yeah yeah yeah.

248. Have you ever met anyone famous?
Uh-huh.

249. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?
Nope.

250. Are you trendy?
Nope.

251. What do you do to vent anger?
I physically beat things, like brick walls, with my fists.

252. Are you passive or agressive?
Yes.

253. Favorite Person To Talk To On-Line?
I sit at my computer for hours on end hoping that someone will chat with me...

254. Who is your second family?
Anyone who wants to adopt me now that I'm all alone.

255. Do you trust others easily?
Yes, too much probably.

256. What was your favorite toy as a child?
LEGO's.

257. What class in school do you think is totally useless?
All of the humanity classes (psych, sosch, ethics etc.)

258. What is the punch-line to your favorite joke?
You were born a cow. You were raised a cow, but now you are a fish!

259. Do you like love songs?
Yeah.

260. Do you think your life so far has been good?
Yup it sure has.

261. Which was your best Halloween costume?
The superman one mom made for me.

262. Have you ever been on radio or television?
Yeah.

264. Have you ever intentionally hurt another person?
Yeah.

265. Do you like sarcasm?
No, I hate SARCASM!!

266. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?
Yeah.

267. Do you always wear a seat belt?
Yeah.

268. Do you feel understood most of the time?
No, but then you really wouldn't understand.

269. Do you drink milk?
No, milk makes my tummy hurt really bad (and then I have to spend the night in the bathroom).

270. Good Friend(s):
Are going to leave you some day.

271. Have you ever thought seriously about committing suicide?
No, life would be pretty boring with out me.

272. Do you know what "mung" is?
No, but my guess is "Sheeps Tongue"

273. What is your soap opera name?
I don't know.

274. Do you keep your underwear and socks in the same drawer?
yeah.

275. Did you pay money to see Honey I Shrunk The Kids?
Absolutely not!

276. Would you rather be hot or cold?
Hmm... cold I guess, I really don't want to be either.

277. Did you cry when the Oklahoma City boming happened?
No, I was stinkin' ticked off!

278. What is the first thing on your Christmas list?
Click Here to see.

279. What was the best Christmas present you received?
Jesus.

280. Could you be a vegetarian?
Not by choice.

281. What word do you use when you think something is good?
Cool Beans, swell, dandy, groovy....

282. What band has the funniest name?
"Naked Phillip & the Freakin Deacons" or "Noggin Toboggan" or "Hoobastank"

283. Would you ever bungee jump?
If someone else paid for it. That way if I died, it would not have been my money wasted, unless the person who paid wanted me whacked...

284. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?
yeah.

285. Who are your favorite white rappers?
Thousand Foot Krutch.

286. Would you rather wear uniforms to school?
I prefer a strongly enforced dress code such as the one at the high school I graduated from.

287. How many hours do you talk on the phone?
I don't talk on the phone much. It's scary!

288. What are you worried about right now?
I'm worried that I can't think of anything to worry about!!

289. Do you ever wear overalls?
If I had some I would.

290. Do you think you are strong (emotionally? physically?)
Not really, I try though.

291. Give one random, little known fact about yourself:
I don't want to date surgery-enhanced unrealistic beautiful people.